cheap JD for guardianship motion + ethics compliant in NJ

i have wasted a LOT of on legal fees fighting guardianship w my awful lawyer sister regarding my mom, so know from experience that the chance of success is VERY LOW, so this is why i am ONLY willing to hire a VERY CHEAP LAWYER to handle the following matters for the following prices:

1. advise me how to file an ethics complaint against my sister's lawyer with the NJ bar and NJ courts, i will write the ENTIRE complaint, you just give me advice how to file and proof/edit my complaint before submission, total time = 15 min to advise me + 15 minutes to proof, so 30 min total, i'm willing to pay $200 for this (=$400/hr)

2. file motion to remove the requirement for "supervision" when i visit my mom, reduce the guardian's fees, and get into the public record all the awful things my sister has done, time on this 2 hours, pay $800, again i will draft it bc i am a VERY good writer and have a LOT of experience, so you would proof/edit it and then file

so the TOTAL amount i am willing to pay is $1000, i can pay in cash or paypal, venmo, or zelle, or check, or credit card, and again i would do ALL the initial drafting (after receiving your verbal guidance) so you would just proof/edit, and then file the 2nd matter (i can file the 1st matter myself)

please reply with your name, the firm's name, and the firm's website with your bio on it, bc some joker thought he could fool me into paying him $500 up front when he wasn't even a lawyer, i am NOT that stupid, i am in MENSA!:)

please reply with your cellphone # and i will call you from my cellphone, also include your WORK email address and i will also email you (and it helps confirm you are legit bc it is a WORK email)

thanks!:)